THE BEAST

Ok i know this is not really metal music related, so you might be wondering why i am posting this here but for fucks sake drinking 4 thousand year old blood and decomposed matter kind of is fucking metal right ?.... hahahhaa wtf man! Blast some Nile while you drink that shit, crazy motherfuckers! - Zach Moonshine

When a massive ancient black granite sarcophagus was unearthed by archaeologists in Egypt three weeks ago, fear circulated that it could contain a horrifying curse.

Many said we should just leave it where we found it, untouched and never to unleash its terrifying torment.

But did we listen? No.

The warning fell on deaf ears, and experts prised open the 2,000-year-old eldritch box to reveal its full horror.

Inside lay three skeletons and a red-brown sewage water, which, apparently, gave off an unbearable stench.

But not content to leave it at that one guy now actually wants to drink the skeleton juice.

Innes McKendrick, a video games producer from Guildford, Surrey, has launched a petition to let us slurp up the decomposed contents.

Addressed to the ‘King of Skeletons, Egypt’ (who we’re guessing are our new overlords) he wrote: ‘We need to drink the red liquid from the cursed dark sarcophagus in the form of some sort of carbonated energy drink so we can assume its powers and finally die.’

He’s not alone in his thinking, with 87 people having signed up in support since it was launched eight hours ago.

Innes posted the petition to his 21,000 Twitter followers earlier today and it has so far received more than 2,000 re-tweets and 6,000 likes.

One user asked the question that was on all of our lips, why? Yes, Innes. Why?

His answer: ‘Don’t want it to go to waste.’

Speaking to the Metro he explained: ‘The discovery of the black sarcophagus in Alexandria sparked interest the world over, and amongst friends was immediately picked up as a symbol of hope. People were given an opportunity they’re often denied in recent times – to picture a brighter, more optimistic future in which the earth is blighted, torn apart and consumed piece by piece at the hands of furious immortal Egyptian gods. The potential to unleash this curse upon ourselves by opening the sarcophagus offered a degree of control over our lives which, in the current political and financial climate, we’re so often denied.

‘Many felt let down when the dark and extremely cursed sarcophagus was pried open to reveal only skeletons drenched in raw sewage, which is weird because skeletons are inherently pretty awesome. However, I stand true to the hope we were promised, and deeply believe that by consuming the skeleton juice in the form of a carbonated high caffeine energy drink that we can still have the opportunity to enter an era of unending darkness and despair. I’m so glad to see others backing the petition, and sharing in my mission to rapidly bring about the end of all things.’ Via metro.co.uk