The spiral

By Michael R. Dover, Jr

Don't you remember, you said you loved me.
You'd always be there.
That was me laying on the floor, heart ripped out, as you walked out the door.
I would've moved Heaven and Earth, I would've died for you.
I bowed at your feet, simply 'cuz you said that you'd love me.
Was that a lie or did you even care?
Was it just an illusion or just a twisted game?
I'm not really sure, but It was real pain.

Suck it up, Now, be a man.
Show no emotions, that's the plan.
Feelings I suppressed, so far down.
Stuffed so deep, that I nearly drown.
Fighting an uphill battle, slowly going insane.
Trying to get back, but it's all in vain.
Gripping that bottle, losing self control.
Don't be a fucking baby, know your role.
Man, these thoughts are so smothering, I'm dying inside.
Snap out of it bitch and show some pride.

I thought you said you'd love me.
You'd always be there.
Was that a lie, hello, are you there?
Was it all in my head or just some twisted game?
I don't really know, but I wish you no pain.

Did you even care?
Do I even dare?
Just a figment of the imagination.
Were you really even there?

Crippling depression and soul crushing anxiety.
Negative thoughts, they are now part of me.
Why did you leave?
Am I the enemy?
I smoke away my pain, kill the chaos inside of me.
Full of fearfulness and rage.
I'm like a rat in a cage.
The more I try, the more I cry.
The more I cry, the slower I die.

Did you ever care?
Were you ever there?
A figment of the imagination.
Do you really exist?
Trying to find answers, what did I miss?